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Introduction:
There are more influencers, both modern and historical, who grew up in a home with a defective father than you would probably care to know. Some of these influencers include but are not limited to: Elon Musk, Christian Ronaldo, Jimmy Donaldson (aka MrBeast), Sigmund Freud, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler. Every influencer at their core, regardless of what they or the public may think, is human. Because of this, every influencer also has a fatherhood story. It is true that not every influencer is raised in a fatherless or abusive home, however, I believe it would be wise to study the obstacles that influencers who grew up in these unhealthy environments overcame.
Ultimately, no matter what obstacles exists, God’s grace is sufficient to work through our weaknesses.
Influencers:
As of January 2023, some of the world’s largest social media platforms average about 1.8 billion monthly average users (also known as MAU). Facebook has 2.958 billion MAU, YouTube has 2.514 billion MAU, Instagram has 2 billion MAU, TikTok has 1.051 billion MAU, and Twitter has 556 million MAU. Simultaneously, on each of these sites, there are influencers.
Merriam Webster defines influencers as “one who exerts influence: a person who inspires or guides the actions of others.” More people reached means more people affected. While this is not limited to those with an online presence, those who do have an online presence strongly influence the world we see today. For example, YouTubers Logan Paul and KSI founded a sports drink company in 2022 known as “Prime.” Within their first year alone, they have made $250M in retail sales.
In 2023, during a four-week case study the drink made $51.7M. This can be compared to veteran competitors Gatorade who made $263.5M and Powerade who made $53.8M during that same four-week period. Prime now also sponsors major sport organizations like the LA Dodgers, UFC, and Arsenal FC. An example of a fatherless influencer could be 24-year-old
Jimmy Donaldson who is known online as “MrBeast.” Donaldson is the most followed individual on YouTube and the fifth most followed individual on TikTok. In addition to his hundreds of millions of followers, he has also founded a fast-food restaurant chain, food company, and mobile gaming company. In the past, he has turned down a $1 Billion offer for all of his channels and associated companies stating that he believed they were worth at least $10-20 Billion. Considering all their financial and influential gains, one must not forget that Donaldson, Paul, KSI, and other Influencers, are at their core, human.
Fatherhood Relationships:
If you are human, you have a fatherhood story. One could have a healthy fatherhood relationship or an unhealthy one. As New York University Emeritus Professor of Psychology Dr. Paul C. Vitz states, a father can in fact “lose his authority [over] or seriously disappoint a child,” this would be an example of an unhealthy father. An unhealthy father would be considered a “defective father” and as Vitz pinpoints, there are three possible types of unhealthy fathers: Absent, Passive, and Abusive.
First, Absent Fathers are physically absent due to abandonment or death. The death of a father had the strongest impact on childhood development between ages of three and five.
The second type of defective fathers is Passive Fathers. Although they could be considered just “pleasant or nice”, Passive Fathers are weak, cowardly, and unworthy of respect.
Stephen Kendrick, Co-Founder of the Fatherhood Commission packages these first two types into his definition of fatherless. He defines fatherless as ” Without a father’s presence or involvement.”
Kendrick emphasizes the importance of separating those who are fatherless from those who have an abusive father, the third type of defective father. Even though a father may abuse one physically, emotionally, and/or psychologically they are still present and involved. It’s just a different degree of defective fatherhood than the fatherless face.
In correlation with these observations, out of the five most followed individuals on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter (we’ll call these platforms “the big 5”), four out of five reported a defective father relationship before the age of 18. Further, out of the top five individuals on each platform of the big five, 15% reported an abusive father, 40% reported that they were fatherless, and 45% reported that they had a healthy fatherhood relationship during their childhood.
This trend is not limited to online influencers.
Out of Time Magazine’s top ten most historical influences of all time, 10% were documented to have an abusive father, 50% were documented as fatherless, and 40% were documented to have healthy fathers.
Compared to the average population, Sara McLanahan, sociologist at Princeton University, estimates that
“Over half of all children born in the United States today will, if current trends continue, live apart from at least one of their biological parents – usually the father –before they reach adulthood. A substantial proportion (about one-fifth) will never live with their fathers.”
Sadly, these statistics about the state of the father within the home are just the tip of the iceberg of the obstacles that kids raised in homes with defective fathers must face.
Influencers Under Influence:
As the evidence above has shown, assuming current trends don’t change, over half of all children will grow up with a defective father. What impact does this have on humanity at its core? Dr. Paul C. Vitz cites a psychoanalysis of Sigmund Freud, observing that “a child’s psychological representation of his father is intimately connected to his understanding of God.”
Because a child intimately connects his relationship of God to his relationship with his father, let’s say for example if the father fails to provide, the child will naturally hold that same belief to God, that He will fail to provide. Stephen Kendrick writes in The Resolution for Men that the “overwhelming majority” of prisoners, drug users, dropouts, runaways, rapists, youth suicides, and kids with behavior disorders are the result of fatherless homes. In addition to this, Kendrick notes that “Kids are 20 times more likely to end up in prison if their dad is not involved in their lives.”
“Kids are 20 times more likely to end up in prison if their dad is not involved in their lives.”
These staggering obstacles don’t even consider those who are abused. Thankfully, however bad these statics may be, they also emphasize the importance of a good father. Further, it shines a great deal of light on God, whose grace works even through the weaknesses of a father, because God is a “Father of the fatherless.”
The Reflection of Influencers:
Unless we had a DeLorean and the right knowledge on how to interview every prominent influencer and historical figure, we may never know exactly how every father affected their children. However, we can see what each influencer’s beliefs are reflected through their actions. Christian Philosopher Dallas Willard once wrote, “We don’t believe something by merely saying we believe it, or even when we believe that we believe it. We believe something when we act as if it were true.”
Testifying to the observation of his own personal work, Friedrich Nietzsche, one of the world’s most famous atheists, actually aligns with Willard’s statement. He states that “Gradually it has become clear to me what every great philosophy so far has been: namely the personal connection of it’s author and a kind of involuntary and unconscious memoir.” If one’s life reflects what they truly believe, what better way can we learn about what’s going on in their mind then by studying one’s life?
Nietzsche, Marx, and Freud, each historically important atheists with defective fathers, are a product of their historical period, family psychology, intellectual intelligence, level of ambition, and their own free choice. Adolf Hitler, who was also an atheist with an abusive father, sadly displayed the choice of free will in a way that scared the world.
Albert Speer, Hitler’s head architect, notes that one of the only times he saw Hitler deeply disturbed was after he had a meeting with the anti-Nazi Archbishop of Munich, Cardinal Faulhaber. Dr. Paul C. Vitz reflects on Speer’s observations of Hitler, stating, “Hitler chose to cultivate his hatred, not to repress or resolve it.” Hitler, like all men, had the chance to “move toward or away from God.”
Hitler chose to move towards hate, something that had been reflected to him as a characteristic of God by his father.
On the other end of the spectrum, William Wilberforce is an awesome example of someone who was fatherless but chose to move towards God. Wilberforce’s father died when he was only nine which opened the door for him to move in with his evangelical aunt and uncle. This opened the door for him to interact with George Whitefield, one of the most famous evangelists of all time, and John Newton, the author of Amazing Grace.
Wilberforce, by God’s grace, soon served in Parliament and led the charge to end slavery in the British empire, creating a rippling effect which changed the rest of the world.
Conclusion:
Each of us has a God-shaped hole in our hearts and if we try to fill that hole with anything other than God, we will be disappointed and left unsatisfied. Our fathers can influence what we try to meet that void with, however, it’s ultimately a choice for the individual to make.Christian men can and need to step in, in every way they can, to minister to fatherless people, such as Wilberforce and Hitler.
The best way for fathers to meet the needs of their children is for them to be present and involved in their kids’ lives. This does not come from a place of perfection in the man, because man is imperfect. Rather, the image of God is reflected through the man that dies to himself, so that the man may pursue God with everything he has. Overwhelmingly, even when a man fails consistently or is insufficient, if he is willing to turn to God, God is willing to meet that man in his need. That’s true for fathers. That’s true for children. That’s true for influencers. That’s true for everybody. By taking this concept and applying it to themselves, fathers can steward their role of a household leader well.
The best way for fathers to influence future generations is by stewarding the opportunity of the future influencers growing up in their home.
This is only possible by God’s grace.
For Works Cited, please view the document below:
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